Meditation
KARMA YOGA EMOTIONAL DAMAGE CONTROL Page 2
Instant first aid for negative feelings!
By Dr Jonn Mumford (Swami Anandakapila Saraswati)
Fallacy Number Two:
"I should be dependent on other people, and it is necessary to find someone stronger than myself on whom I can lean."
Be careful, women particularly, about believing this idea. One can rely on nothing but the self. No state, nation, political system, religious dogma, marriage partner, relative or friend can be completely relied upon.
Change is a fundamental law of life and the only really worthwhile dependence is upon oneself. The object of all true philosophical systems is to lead the student from a state of dependence to one of independence. When we have crossed the river of life why still cling to the raft?
From an Eastern viewpoint consistent meditation upon the ‘Sat Guru’ or ‘Master Within’ can allow you to build a pillar of strength within yourself and perform the alchemical transformation of being ‘Alone’ into being ‘All one’.
By the same token we must accept humans are naturally gregarious and being ‘independent’ should not be at the exclusion of ‘interdependence’ promoting satisfactory support systems at work and home.
One of my old lecturers defined mental health as ‘the ability to work and love’ and both these activities involve interaction with others.
Fallacy Number Three:
"As an adult it is necessary that I be liked and appreciated by nearly every important person in my society."
The human condition is such as to encourage us to be riddled with insecurity and anxiety. We are all trapped to a greater or lesser extent by this fact. The more insecure we are the more reassurance we crave from others. Face the truth that you cannot be loved or liked by everyone. Someone will always dislike you (perhaps with good reason!).
The only approval that really counts is self-approval. Have you come to terms with yourself? If you essentially dislike yourself why should others like you? It is a great secret that only those with self-approval dare risk giving credit to others.
A closely allied fallacy is: "some members of society are wicked, bad, villainous and it is absolutely necessary that they be blamed and severely punished for their way of life".
What do you think about alcoholics, prostitutes, criminals, homosexuals, divorcees, adulterous marriage partners and abortionists? "Who will cast the first stone?"
If you accept that some people are intrinsically evil (rather than unhappy, brain-damaged, or else free of superficial moralism ) be careful you don't end up stoning yourself to death at a crisis period in your life.
If you base your life upon the fallacy of judging others, guilt will create a living hell for you, should you commit adultery, have an abortion, be divorced or experience homosexual attraction.
Perhaps it is worth contemplating that the bulk of serious criminal activity, drug addiction and alcoholism are all the end results of personality disturbances and neurological damage. In the sphere of human emotions and sexual activity be cautious about moral judgement of others for one day you may discover yourself in the very situation you have condemned.
Fallacy Number Four:
"It is an absolute tragedy and a personal catastrophe when things are not the way I very much wish they were."
Remember the old saying that bars do not a prison make? The prison is created by mental attitudes, not situations or the environment. Oscar Wilde said:
“We are all born in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars”.
Do not be tricked into thinking human happiness is externally caused and that you possess little or no ability to control your sorrows and tensions. Although our problems in life cannot always be eradicated our attitudes to problems can be changed.
The difference between a tragedy which emotionally cripples one individual and a similar tragedy which leaves another adequately continuing to cope with life, is simply a difference in mental outlook, set or attitude. Avoid converting problems into worries.
You may feel I am being very trite and superficial in suggesting this – the reality perspective is that the majority of occurrences in our life that upset us most definitely are not CATOSTROPHIC – Tragedy is a word we should reserve for the accident at Thredbo or the recent sad death of a Princess.
Fallacy Number Five:
"If something is dangerous or potentially dangerous, I must be terribly concerned about it and should constantly dwell upon the possibility of it occurring."
A major key to philosophical equilibrium is living in the present. There is a distinct line drawn between awareness of possible danger in certain situations versus a fearful concern of phobic proportions in which the mind is living in imaginary anticipation of future calamity. When we become anxious over an imagined future calamity we are really reacting to the fantasy of an event which has just occurred in our mind as if it had occurred in reality.
“Our worst misfortunes never happen,
and most miseries lie in anticipation”
-H. de Balzac (1799-1850)We know that a natural ebb and flow in the affairs of men exists. Yantra Yoga (South Indian Numerology) teaches how to utilise the potential inherent in each segment of time as it arises: however the concept of cycles must never be misconstrued as an encouragement for neurotic concern with the future or fearful anticipation of natural testing phases which represent an inevitable part of living.
Fallacy Number Six:
"It is easier for me to avoid rather than face certain life problems and responsibilities."
Problems are best coped with by going through, rather than around them. Why? It is simply a matter of psychic economy - our mental energy must be used wisely and repressing or suppressing problems, ie. trying to ignore them or push them out of conscious awareness, uses up more psychic energy than facing them ever does.
The mind is a dangerous weapon, even to the possessor,
if he knows not discreetly how to use it. Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592)If I submerge a ping-pong ball (a problem) underwater (out of sight), the minute I release the ball it pops up to the surface (conscious awareness).
The only way I can keep the ball deeply immersed is by constantly holding it down with one hand. This means I have crippled myself, losing the use of one arm, which is devoted entirely to holding the ball under.
Do you cripple yourself emotionally trying to hold down problems? Don't avoid problems - face them! If you need help and encouragement, go to close friend and if necessary don’t hesitate to get professional support.
Fallacy Number Seven:
"My past history is a crushing determiner of my present happiness and because something once strongly affected me it must continue to similarly affect me.”
When a past event influences your present behaviour your mind is divided against itself. Brooding over the past wastes energy as does day-dreaming of the future.
“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrows,
it only saps today of its strength”
.A. M. CroninKnow that all human enterprise is often accompanied, unfortunately, by an inordinate desire to succeed (living in the future) and an inordinate fear of failure (based on past experience of failure).
“Men suffer from thinking
more than from anything else.”
Leo Tolstoy 1828-1910)You can actually train yourself to focus your attention upon the now thus helping to release the grip of the past. Refusing to count chickens before they are hatched is good mental hygiene and is the basis of Karma Yoga. Now is the time.
Fallacy Number Eight:
"There is always a right, correct and perfect solution to human problems and it is a major catastrophe if this perfect solution is not worked out."
All problems may be faced but not all can be solved. Some situations are so messy and intricate that they can only be accepted or endured. Avoid flagellating yourself if you fail to find the answer to your marital difficulties or misunderstandings in relationships and business.
Each person's feelings are in a constant state of flux and what was once harmonious understanding may tomorrow become unharmonious misunderstanding. Remember that there seldom is a real right or wrong - there are just people with conflicting feelings.
Human relationships tend to be built upon a flimsy spider web. Often we like people for no better reason than that they appear to like us. When you fully understand how true this is you will cease searching for “perfect” solutions.
It is an illusion that we like or dislike people - what we like or dislike are the feelings that contact with them induces in us.
Fallacy Number Nine:
"I should become extremely upset over the problems and disturbances of other people."
Sympathy, contrary to popular belief, is not the most efficient way to help others with their problems. Sympathy involves identifying yourself with another’s emotional state and then two unhappy people exist instead of one.
Empathy, not sympathy, is what is required. Empathy is understanding another person's feelings and above all accepting them. Do not turn their problems into your problems.
Any attempt to give advice or sympathy is based upon the false notion that people cannot solve their own difficulties. Each person contains the solution to alleviating his own stress, given an accepting listener, as surely as the egg contains a yolk. Because others are disturbed do not fall into the trap of feeling you also must be upset.
In fact it would not hurt to quote the great Canadian Physician, Sir William Osler, who nearly a hundred years ago said:
“Physicians should remember that although they can rarely cure,
they can usually relieve
and they can always comfort”.In India they would call ‘comfort’ an aspect of Bhakti Yoga.
An extension of this concept is becoming involved in the problems of the world and community at large by reading daily newspapers, watching the news on television every night and listening to the news on radio throughout the day.
This may seem a little fanatical but I strongly suggest that if you are constantly depressed and anxious about the state of the world, try fasting yourself from the media – you may be amazed at how your tension level drops!
Believe me – anything you really need to know someone will always tell you! Psychologists are now becoming aware of how we live in an age of “information overload” and generally speaking absorbing the news daily is a form of mental poisoning more potent than any ecological disasters currently and the equivalent of taking a bath in sewerage.
I have selected nine of Albert Ellis’ fallacies to kick-start you on a re-evaluation of your personal attitudes and beliefs. I am very fond of Indian Numerology so I tend to round everything off in groups of nine.
I can suggest what others and myself have found helpful to do with these concepts:
Exercise One : Read over all nine of them every night before going to bed and select one to think about as you are falling asleep. This is not a good idea if you are going to get upset over a particular fallacy and induce insomnia.
ExerciseTwo: Write one ‘fallacy’ in your personal dairy every day and contemplate it throughout the day. See if you can catch yourself indulging in that particular false belief during the day.
ExerciseThree: Every time you realise you are reacting emotionally based on one of the fallacies rationalise it out of your head by reading the part of this article dealing with it and actually state to your self “I don’t have to go on acting as if this attitude or belief is important and true.”.
Exercise Four : Photocopy this article and cut out each fallacy with my commentary and take a different one with you each day to take out of your purse or wallet to study at odd moments.
ExerciseFive: Cut out particular fallacies you need to work on and sticky tape them on your bedroom or bathroom mirror – or even the kitchen cupboard in a prominent place. This will remind you to think about and reject the fallacy.
Exercise Six: This is a graduation technique to really become familiar with the nine fallacies (for those that like the Kabala, you can consider there are 10 – “a closely associated fallacy” could make the 10th).
You can play a psychological version of pick-up sticks, solitaire or in company, by carefully photo-copying the article and cutting up the pages in such a way that Ellis’ Fallacies (the one’s in quotes) are separated from my commentaries.
You then shuffle the 18 or 20 pieces of paper up in a large mixing bowel and pluck one piece of paper out.
If you pluck out a fallacy try and write a commentary to it based upon your personal experience. Conversely if you pluck out a commentary try to write about or discuss the fallacy associated with it.
Taking these exercises seriously will improve the calibre of your psychological life significantly and I must emphasise that I have seen quite a few hundred patients benefit from these concepts and I have personally found them very helpful.
When these principles of Rational Thinking are applied we can solve the conundrum :
“Are we in the prison or is the prison in us?”
Albert Ellis PhD, is the Executive Director of the Institute for Rational-Emotive Therapy in New York . He has authored or edited over 50 books including "Sex without Guilt","Reason and Emotion in Psychotherapy" and "How to stubbornly Refuse to make yourself Miserable about anything, Yes anything!".
Dr Jonn Mumford (Swami Anandakapila Saraswati) is an International lecturer and author whose works include "Ecstasy through Tantra", "A Chakra & Kundalini Workbook", "Magical Tattwas - Hindu Tarot for the West" and "Mind Magic Kit". This article contains excerpts from his books "How to Clear Your Karma in 9 Days" and "Death: Beginning or End" (Llewellyn Publications, USA ) .
He was initiated into the Saraswati order by Paramahansaji Swami Satyananda, Bihar School, in 1973 and began his inner journey with Yogamaharishi Dr Swami Gitananda Giri Guru Maharaj in the 50’s.For information on Dr Mumford's private consultations, Distance learning Programs introducing Om Kara Kriya â ‘Alchemy for the Soul’
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Swami Anandakapila Saraswati
Dr Jonn Mumford
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